Self- Love and Self-Acceptance – a myth? (II)

The supposed myth

People say lay down yourself and love others more…..

  • What can be wrong in preparing yourself to give and receive that which we most desire and which is the greatest, LOVE?
  • Is it possible to offer someone mango when you do not have mango?
  • Is it possible that you enter Maths exam hall and decide to write English on your answer script and pass the exams?
  • How can one be happy with someone who is not meeting his/her desire and yet wants him/her to stay? 

In counseling with persons with Vitiligo, the greatest desire of women has been to find love and I have always asked, is it possible to find love and love as you are body mind and spirit without being filled with love yourself? I usually get an answer, I know getting someone who loves me will change things and I usually ask someone who will love you and expect you to love him back. Its true that there are rare men that will find one attractive even in that situation and decides to help build her up, how many of them are out there and how many have you met? A lady told me that she cannot be happy and cannot be open to a relationship till she repigments fully and I asked her

  • Do you know how long that will take?
  • Do you know if you have that number of years to live?
  • Does your happiness now depends on a man

She told me that she will be alive for it to happen, but cannot just think of exposing her hand to anyone now. For me, I cannot deny myself the happiness, I know it is not easy to get there, but with the will to change, step by step efforts and the mirror game I discussed below, we will be getting into it. Don’t get me wrong, Love is a beautiful thing which everyone really needs to experience genuinely in their lifetime. My question is, is it about the opposite sex? I have been privileged to talk also with the married who would usually tell me my spouse has been very supportive, but I just can’t handle the psychological aspects especially when dealing with the public. This goes to show that the opposite sex is actually not the solution, but self. What about who we really are and what we want to achieve in life? My findings and experience, when you find that self-love, its beautiful, you glow with so much love for everyone around you, you judge less who is staring and who is not staring, you don’t remember the comments, you are open to love and to change and everything is beautiful.  This self-love can only be effective when you have accepted yourself wholly.

  • It’s important that we learn to accept what we cannot change, work on the ones we can  improve ourselves. God has raised so many creative and innovative minds who has been able to put into writing and visuals certain guide for a great life, explore them while you learn from your own experiences too
  • We should be practical and creative enough to know that accepting and loving ourselves is no sin, it’s the beginning of the change we desire and help we need,
  • Why become reluctant to yourself because your religion make you believe so, remember it’s the understanding of your leader there and God never says we should trash our own understanding and discernment for one leader. Ehp 5:29 says for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it………
  • Prayer is the greatest, we should pray and follow –up with actions. Can prayer choose the right clothes for that meeting for you? We pray for His guide and live up in faith.
  • It’s important that we know that even persons we see as normal are hurting also in one way or the other, they also get rejected in different areas
  • It’s important to identify that which is unique about us and celebrate it, we must not wait for people to celebrate us, atimes It may never come till we begin it ourselves
  • Feed your body healthily, don’t just feed it anything, take your time and show some love to yourself. When you are in great health, you function well; health is your right and entitlement. It starts with you
  • Forgive and set yourself free
  • The mirror game really helps and it has become part of me in so many ways, will really encourage you to embrace it..
  1.  Tell the beautiful lady/man you see in the mirror how much you love and appreciate him/her
  2. Discuss with him/her your plans and usually he/she will reason with you
  3. Let him/her know how much you would want to take care of it but trying to your own capacity, believe me he/she usually understands and play along

 

When you Accept and Love yourself and live it, the problem is more than 50% solved, it’s a simple life, let’s stop making it complicated.

Believe in your dreams, confess and affirm what you believe and what you want!

Love and accept yourself wholly so you can live better and Love all around you and greatly Love that special person with great and unadulterated Love!

Love is a beautiful thing, it begins with you!

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Self- Love and Self-Acceptance – a myth? (1)

Self- Love and Self-Acceptance  – a myth?

When we talk about self-love, it usually sounds vain especially in our society where we have misunderstood so much due to religion and cultural beliefs. Putting in a simpler way, straightway self-love is an aftermath of self-acceptance because it is when we have accepted something that we love or is it possible to love what we do not accept?

For some reasons and excessive demand of the society, humans are disassociating from themselves by day, worrying just about every little thing even worrying about not breathing in a particular style. My question is who sets this standard and who approved them to be standard setters? It is hard for persons without visual appearance challenged; the ones with unusual visual appearance are actually not included anywhere, the media and the fashion industry have not helped matters too.

Here I ask, why should we continue to let a standard set by someone whom if we get close to may not be worth our time at all, but because the society has a way of making those of us who do not know ourselves worry about imperfection that does not exist. Yes when the imperfection is not our making and we cannot do anything about it, it does not exist, it is just the way it is like anyother. The society tries to set standard of ideal height, ideal foot, ideal shoe size, ideal body shape, ideal talking pattern, ideal way of looking, of walking, running, standing even when we have different body sizes, postures, shapes, different orientation and from different origins…its endless… as if any of these can be achieved by human effort without any adverse effect or losing something natural to achieve it.

The craziest is body weight, yes I was worried about my weight few months ago because I was feeling sick, I had never gotten to that size and suddenly bloated up, though noticed two things from my journey to that point, in managing my Vitiligo naturally and as I researched about, I had found out that I have had indigestive problems all my life which suddenly corrected and took me unawares, so foods I used to eat that comes out to the extent I chewed it when I excrete, suddenly started digesting fully. It affected my total wellbeing, fatigue, knee pains and all of that increased, I knew without seeking any Doctors advise that I had to get back fully to my healthy eating, cleansing and exercises, I did mostly with my raw plant-based nutrition and not planning one bit to retrace again. Today it has lead me to my new social enterprise www.vogohealthies.gnbo.com.ng, it has taken off with little campaign. I shared this because I had a reason to get healthier as I know the importance and not wait till am wheeled into an ambulance.

But what’s truly our reason for most of the things we are obsessed about? A musician comes out with a particular body shape (she maybe so uncomfortable with) and because she breaks through everybody starts working to be that, why don’t we work to get ourselves to be whom someone else wants to be?

Self-Acceptance is accepting self wholly, the flaws (if you see any in you), the fat legs, the unshaped nose, the short fingers etc. when it is about the ones you can change like getting a toned arm, laps, flat tummy then we work towards it instead of hating and rejecting self. Funnily hating and rejecting self has never changed that thing we do not want rather it worsens it even our Vitiligo. I would rather take my time and understudy certain therapy that helps Vitiligo and choose one to follow for atleast a year before taking decisions to move to another. It would be worth it that hating the body that carries you about, bringing you the achievements, giving you life and taking care of all your inners. Ever thought of what it would be like if the body gets angry and says no to you someday? When we love someone we go out of our way to do everything to make him happy, why can’t we do same for self? We accept the opposite sex the way they are especially when we see what we want in them, why can’t we then accept self the way we are for better living and greater productivity?

Continues…..

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Our Theme, Our Hope – World Vitiligo Day – June 25th

Vitiligo lady pic

Our Theme, Our Hope – World Vitiligo Day – June 25th

Greetings from Vitiligo Support and Awareness Foundation (VITSAF), Nigeria, I hope this meets us all well in this brand New Year!

I come to you with good news on our campaign and advocacy for World Vitiligo Day – June 25th, we are making progress. For those who are coming in contact with this advocacy and campaign for the first time, World Vitiligo Day Initiative is the international awareness and fundraising day for all Vitiligo persons, organization and support groups. It is our collective effort to drive extensive global Vitiligo Awareness, to help ease the psychological effects of Vitiligo, to put us out of misery and silent pain majority of us go through, effectively educate the public and bring Vitiligo cause to World center stage.
This initiative will help ease all the misunderstanding of the general public, neglect and underestimation of both the public and medical community and at same time improve our Quality of Life (QoL), self-esteem as well as self-confidence. “The more we can get people engaged in understanding what Vitiligo is, the better it is for those who are living with it.” - Mary Cleveland, Executive Director, NVFI.

In 2011, Vitiligo Awareness Day, June 25th (World Vitiligo Day) was marked in different parts of the World such as in Nigeria, South Africa, Kenya, Vitiligo Bond, USA, My Vitiligo World, Indonesia, Vitiligo persons and the public on social media and across the globe.
View 2011 World Vitiligo Day – June 25th on the underlisted links
Facebook page – World Vitiligo Day, 25 June,
VITSAF, Nigeria,
South Africa,
In Kenya,
Facebook – World Vitiligo day 2011 with friends in USA,
Facebook – My Vitiligo World, Indonesia/ etc……
We are continuing effort as the ultimate goal is to get June 25th approved officially by UN as World Vitiligo Day. In 2011 we called out late to organizations to observe the day, thereby making most organization unable to plan an event, today many organizations are already getting prepared for June 25th, 2012, we are 5months away and it’s fairly enough time for us to plan an event to mark World Vitiligo Day, June 25th, 2012.

What is our goal for 2012?
This year our target is 100,000 signature petitions to address the United Nations in order to:
- Recognize this neglected and debilitating disease associated with severe social complications, and to
- Recognize the urgent need to pursue multilateral efforts in therapy development and health-care education, and ultimately to
- Designate June 25 as the World Vitiligo Day to be observed by the United Nations and Member States every year, for the prevention, treatment and care of Vitiligo in line with the sustainable development of national health-care systems.
- And to improve quality of life (QoL) of persons distressed by Vitiligo, improve the public’s understanding of the condition and ultimately achieve extensive Vitiligo Awareness Globally.
Am very positive that we can achieve 100,000 signature petitions http://www.petitions24.com/signatures/world_vitiligo_day_-_june_25th to UN if we collectively drive it, with no doubt and in all humility I appeal for your support, collaboration and partnership to drive this more than ever before.

Why is June 25th suggested as World Vitiligo Day?
June 25th is a significant date in the Vitiligo calendar because it marks the passing date of pop-star Michael Jackson, the most famous man that lived with Vitiligo. His life with Vitiligo brought awareness to Vitiligo as most people heard about Vitiligo for the first time as it concerns Michael Jackson and today some already refer to Vitiligo as Michael Jackson’s disease. His death attracted about 4million hits on Vitiligo websites in a few days. Michael Jackson even in death is still being misunderstood about his change in skin color, a kind of misunderstanding majority with Vitiligo still face today.

Vitiligo in pics

How can I support this worthy initiative?

    Our petitions to UN for World Vitiligo Day – June 25th is online on World Vitiligo Day – 25 June petition to UN, Please do sign if you haven’t and please do share with friends, colleagues, families, media and more. Please join forces with us to achieve this
    If you wish to Embed this petition to your website – please send a mail to vitsaf@vitsaf.org for the widget.
    We also invite people with Vitiligo to participate in our ebook project, we are calling on Vitiligo persons and or a family member from different Continents and Countries who would want to share a 200words of their journey with Vitiligo and how they think an International Awareness Day for Vitiligo – World Vitiligo Day will help alleviate most challenges of persons with Vitiligo. This will be accompanied with a good photograph of yourself and an email contact. (The email contact will not be published, it’s for verification)
    You can generate an announcement on podcast, radio or television stressing upon Vitiligo World Day – June 25th.

Our Theme for World Vitiligo Day – June 25th, 2012 is ‘The way we are’. Please share your comments, ideas and suggestions here as it means so much to us, lets discuss this.

World Vitiligo Day links
Facebook page – World Vitiligo Day , please like the page, thank you.
www.25june.org

Together We CAN achieve!

Very Sincerely yours
Ogo Maduewesi
Email – vitsaf@vitsaf.org, vitsupng@gmail.com
phone – +234702 516 5280

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The International School of Vitiligo & Pigmentary Disorders.

Vitiligo Research Foundation European office secretariat, and on behalf of the VR Foundation Executive Scientific Committee, calls for nomination from each Scientific Community of all European Countries to the International School of Vitiligo & Pigmentary Disorders.
Barcelona, Spain – 2-5 November 2011

Dear Colleagues,

In today’s competitive world of Dermatology, education and continuous training are the key to success and employability.

Pigmentary Disorders of the skin are seen very often by the Dermatologists and not always properly diagnosed and treated.
Training supported and funded by the VRF provides you with the competitive edge because of its strong clinical-practical orientation in the field of Pigmentary Disorders of the Skin.

Following this residential interactive meeting funded by the VRF, the attendees will be able to :

– understand the biology of human melanocytes;
– develop a strategy to diagnose all clinical forms of vitiligo and related disorders and the other common ( benign and malignant) pigmentary disorders;
– identify the most rational and well accepted conventional and innovative therapies for treating both the symptoms and the signs of the pigmentary disorder and the self-esteem decline of the sufferers .

A special session for discussing the most paradigmatic clinical cases presented by the same attendees has been included in the scientific program.
Residents and practicing dermatologists will be encouraged to actively engage in the discussion at each and every stages of the workshop.

Each Scientific Community of all European Countries is entitled to appoint one resident or young practicing dermatologist as participant to the School in agreement with the National Dermatological Society .

Travel expenses up to Euro 250,00 , registration fees , hotel accommodation and meals will be offered by the VRF to each and every appointed attendee.” Moreover, the most brilliant participant in the research field and clinical cases presentation will be selected to receive a stipend of USD 12.000,00 for 2012, to encourage an active participation in the program.

Remaining at your disposal for any further informations you may require,

Prof. Dr. Torello Lotti , MD

Professor of Dermatology
Chairman , Executive Scientific Committe VR Foundation, Inc.
1, Penn plaza, suite 6205
New York, NY 10119 USA
Tel. 1-855 -966-3555
Email professor@torellolotti.it

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Debut Video Productions for Vitiligo Awareness and Enlightenment in Africa

VITSAF’s one major goal is to achieve extensive Vitiligo awareness and enlightenment amongst the general public and medical community in Africa and beyond. This we have started delivering thus our debut video productions. Our main approach to this is through entertainment.
D Productions –
• More to Life – A Documentary on Vitiligo (online version to be uploaded soon), contact us on vitsupng@gmail.com for a copy if you are willing to help us in publicizing Vitiligo Awareness
• Tales of Vitiligo – TV Fillers (for understanding effects of segregation and e everyday life experiences of a persons living with Vitiligo.

The links to Tales of Vitiligo on YouTube

Please do feel free to share this videos with everyone around you, if you have any questions as regards the videos and how you can work with us on it, do send an email to vitsupng@gmail.com.

We in VITSAF will be coming up with more productions later in the year 2011 with more productions – short story and a movie all to Vitiligo awareness, understanding autoimmune disorders, empowering the disfigured and daring it all, living positively in midst of all adversity.

Keep a date with us Vitiligo Support and Awareness Foundation (VITSAF) on www.vitsaf.org !!!

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Psychological impact of Vitiligo


… having Vitiligo is not the cataclysmic calamity that a terminal cancer or severely disabling injury would be. But I do know that its effects on a person’s confidence and self-image can be quite devastating.

So I have no wish to overstate the plight of vitiligo sufferers or in any way dramatise or exaggerate the seriousness of the condition. But I do know, from my own experience, that the psychological impact of vitiligo is something that is very personal and is really not mitigated by making comparisons with other conditions or counting oneself lucky not to have cancer or be in a wheel chair instead.

I know that some people with vitiligo claim (and I don’t doubt their honesty) to have come to terms with the condition and are not bothered by it at all. Sadly I have never been one of them and I suspect they are in the minority. Granted, having vitiligo is not the cataclysmic calamity that a terminal cancer or severely disabling injury would be. But I do know that its effects on a person’s confidence and self-image can be quite devastating.

The unpredictable and progressive nature of the condition can cause an insidious erosion of one’s own sense of self. One day a familiar face looks back at you from the mirror and the next day you can see part of the picture fading and you know that in a few more days another piece of the jigsaw will have disappeared and a frightened, unfamiliar pair of eyes will be looking back at you from behind an altered facial landscape. A sudden change to the person you perceive yourself to be must be difficult enough to come to terms with. But an apparently random, mischievous, malevolent progressive alteration is unnerving at best and often panic inducing and deeply, deeply depressing. I suppose it has a lot to do with the fact that our skin is our outer packaging, our first impression to the world. Beauty is just skin deep, or so they say. It’s inextricably bound up with our own sense of identity, heredity, race and self-worth. And it’s not something that is supposed to change – apart from getting wrinkled with old age!

Caroline www.vitiligoprotocol.co.uk

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Positive Attitude to Vitiligo

‘Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you make of it’

I am starting with my life experience and having been in contact with persons going through some sort of depression and low self esteem. I have a skin condition called Vitiligo, a very disfiguring devastating condition one can come down with, where your appearance is being threatened with no solid help in a world where physical appearance is being celebrated more than anything.
I am talking about Vitiligo because that’s one great challenge I had with my attitude and approach to life.
I started thinking about what bothered me most about having Vitiligo at a point precisely in 2006, after all, it is more of a cosmetic problem than anything else. Why worry about what other people think? When it has not changed who I am and the way God sees you who look at the heart and not the physical. Vitiligo may have knocked us down but it hasn’t knocked us out!
I just made up my mind to stop thinking of Vitiligo, what people think or how they react. I realized I have enough potential willpower to do that if I really want to. When you are in control of your mind, you can have control over what gets you down or affects you. We do not fully comprehend what we can do with our emotions, when we control them, we have willpower. When they control us the results are often disastrous.
Vitiligo is not what I brought on myself; there is neither known cause nor cure let alone prevention. I prayed depressive thoughts out of my mind and started attacking the problem constructively.
Please understand with me, stare, and comments (no matter how spiteful or unfriendly); does not leave a puncture on anyone. Hear what you want to hear and digest that which you choose to digest
I came to a place in which I realized that I had to live with Vitiligo (though I believed from the first day that it’s temporal). I thought that if anyone has a problem with the way I look, then that is their problem, not mine as Vitiligo is not what I brought on myself. I never bothered about people that walked out of my life because of Vitiligo. I saw people looking at me in horror or disgust as persons having bigger problems than I will ever have.
Beauty queens, celebrities and Stars are all at some point in their life being rejected equally, its not so much about what the society expects one to live or act like that matters, but accepting you for you, being true to you, living right and not trying to live to please people’s expectation of you or struggle to please all.
I learnt to do what make me happy, wear what I am comfortable in and really suits, go out to any place I wish, I started dictating for Vitiligo as it used to dictate to me when to go, what to wear, where to go, etc. IT WORKED!
I learnt to Love and Accept myself for me. What people think or feel about my look is the least of my worries now, I thank God I have something am doing that is keeping me busy and my mind occupied always. The truth is that I don’t remember Vitiligo often these days, am just concerned about majority out there living with this condition who is really finding it hard to live normal life especially the women.
I have learnt that Self Acceptance is key! Can you give what you don’t have? I have accepted me for me and what I give and present is the accepted me. If I give the rejected me people will still receive me as I have presented me. Can’t possibly worry myself anymore about what the next persons thinks about my look, funny enough I may just be far healthier than the person trying to make me uncomfortable with stares & comment.
People’s reaction to my looks is no longer an issue.

Remember that everything in life happens for a reason and that we never really know when the happenings are positive or negative. Sometimes events that are seen as negatives are simply lessons in disguise. Sometimes we need to learn these lessons in order to rise to a higher level of awareness.
Life is tough (full of ups and down), no doubt about that, but no toughness can be as tough as genuine hope. One of the toughest things in the world is a mind filled with hope and that we need more than any other!
I have talked about Vitiligo and me here, you maybe going through some kind of challenges that is affecting your attitude negatively; one thing I will leave you with is that nothing can bring you down without your permission!
There is always a positive & negative side to that situation; you have the right to choose…..
I saw it from the Positive angle! I just learnt, how about you?

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Why must Vitiligo be given due attention?

Overtime I have been told by people, I really don’t see reasons why persons living with Vitiligo should be traumatized & stigmatized, it’s just a change in skin color…….. One of the persons who said this overtime to me could not step out of her house to go to work someday because she got acne on her face, I didn’t understand when she told me that go out with that acne bulging (you needed to see the size) out of her chin. I didn’t really understand because she has said overtime that there is nothing in looks and that she sees nothing one should fret about concerning Vitiligo, when I asked her what she would’ve done if she got Vitiligo, probably she won’t go to work ever in her life. She lost it and asked me how can I ever wish her Vitiligo? This is just one out of many.

Vitiligo is one condition that people do not really understand the impact, not only does it disfigure, its one condition that usually leaves it sufferers in misery, bondage and pains, People look at you and tell you I don’t know what you are bothered about yet they don’t want to make friends. A condition that usually starts out of the blues, everything will be just normal and suddenly there is a white spot that is usually being ignored then the journey of white spots blending into patches and so it continues, atimes takes over completely and atimes in huge patches depending on the pattern that has visited one.

Vitiligo, in spite of not being a rare disease, of being classified as a disease by the WHO (World Health Organization), is one of the most psychologically, psychosocially and emotionally devastating chronic skin condition, with a major impact on both patients and their families, Vitiligo is still today underrated and underestimated. Still today there are dermatologists who minimize the impact of the disease, who trivialize the condition or deceive patients’ expectations, leaving them vulnerable to therapies not proven effective. More reason so many living with it has resorted to self medication of trial and errors. Can you blame me for marrying natural therapies and home remedies which I have come to find out is actually the way to go now?

Till you experience it or find of yours in the situation where you are being stigmatized silently, misunderstood, segregated upon, stared at and atimes ridiculed for a condition you have no hand on how it came about, don’t have any help nor control over, you wouldn’t feel or understand how hard it can be for one to struggle to live as if all is well in the midst of trials, challenges & difficulties such as Vitiligo. Vitiligo has left people rejected by their loved ones, destroyed beautiful relationships out of ignorance, yearning for physical beauty and going by the surface (before you judge, you might do worse). Women are more vulnerable to this as we live in a society where men comes has it all going for them in relationships and marriage, when it happens to them the women are advised to stay and carry the burden with them but the other way round, it’s usually out of all the women in the world I can’t be trapped with this white and black thing.

Not so many people will be able to handle or live with this segregation, being stared at daily with comments and annoying explanations to what they see Vitiligo as. People have committed and attempted suicide, others have resorted to in-door living for the rest of their life, others move around living in misery, agony and in bondage of vitiligo.

What can a man who is emotionally and psychologically dead offer himself and the economy?

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Why must Vitiligo be given due attention?

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Welcome to our Blog, Be Positive, Be healthy!!!

Ogo Maduewesi welcomes you and ask you that you keep a date with us as we will be treating ourselves to practical ways of living positively and Healthily.

Its in our hands to bless ourselves with Health and Positivity!

See you soon.

Compliments!!!

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